It was an innocent thought that came to me in the baking aisle: Bacon S’mores. I saw a bag of Jet-Puffed marshmallows and a stroke of genius gave me the idea for my takedown recipe entry.
Little did I know… little did I know… The task at hand this weekend was clear: create 250 bite-site portions of any bacon dish my heart desired. Once I had decided on the dish, all I had to do was calculate how many pounds of this or that I would need to pull it off.
Here is the cringe-worthy list of ingredients that sacrificed their shelf lives for my takedown entry:
- 15 lbs of Hormel black label bacon
- 2 lbs of butter
- 5 lbs of brown sugar
- 6 lbs of flour
- 4 honey bears
- 8 bags of marshmallows
- 1 bottle of Aunt Jemima
- 2 lbs of semi-sweet chocolate chips
- plus more, but in less drastic amounts
Care to see how it all went down?
I started baking early Friday morning with a smile on my face. I had done a test run of my graham cracker recipe, so I knew I could bust out all the dough in the morning for it to chill a few hours.
Milk + honey, go quite great.
This was a very wet, sticky dough but it firmed up in the fridge, or at least, that’s what it did when I made it before.
This time? It totally flopped. Bad. I couldn’t roll out the dough, even after 8 hours in the fridge. It was a hot day, and the dough would not come off the counter. Or off parchment to be spread out. So, I got creative.
I tried baking it in one solid mass, thinking I could trim it up after. Wrong, it puffed up like a cake. Then I thought to put the dough in a pastry bag and just pipe out a million little cookies. Wrong, just so wrong.
Then I proceeded to try making a pancake batter out of the dough, seeing if I would be able to fry up a million little pancakes and call them graham crackers.
Needless to say, I was feeling defeated by the end of Friday night. My entire prep day had generally gone to waste, so had about 10 lbs of cookie dough, and a little bit of my soul.
Saturday was a new day. I got up, and was back to work in the kitchen. This time, I used a different dough recipe and had immediately better results. I kept myself busy all morning rolling out, cutting, and baking graham cookies.
All… day… long…
Here I am, proud and happy after my 600th cookie had finally come out of the oven.
Once we were over the cookie hump, we set our sights on the next ingredient: the bacon. All fifteen pounds of it.
We set up a satellite bacon station in the kitchen, so I could have the counter space for my cookie rolling.
This was the scene in the kitchen from 1P.M. until approximately 9P.M. (Note the nerdy white light clipped to the cabinet for optimal blogging photos.)
I actually didn’t fry a single piece of bacon, Justin and his friend did all that work.
We cooked 7.5 lbs of bacon on the electric griddle, to be covered in chocolate after it cooled.
Major double boiler action, major dipping action.
The second half of the bacon was coated with maple syrup + brown sugar, then baked in the oven. This process began sometimes around 9P.M. and continued until 1:30A.M.
Around this time, I really started to loathe bacon. It was smoking so much in the oven, everything smelled like vinegar to me (gross), and it seemed like we would never open that last package of bacon.
Eventually, we did finish. I cleaned up and packed everything up for the morning.
I love this photo because I took it right after I finally removed my apron, the clock on the microwave says 2:00A.M. on the dot. Ouch.
The next morning, we were groggy and sore, but very excited. All the s’mores were assembled on toothpicks. (This took about 3 hours.)
I also made a sign to go in front of my table.
Jelly helped a lot.
Before I knew it, the time had come for us to pack up and ship out.
Justin, me, plus two friends, plus 267 bacon s’more babies.
Nervous or excited?
Find out in Part Two!
GREETINGSWelcome to Blunder Construction! Forecast is yummy with a 90% chance of cats.
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