True Life: I Can’t Open Jars

I drew a graph to depict the highs and lows I feel while attempting to open a jar. This problem is not getting better with time either. #generationcarpaltunnel

 

opening jars

 

Sister Wives and Me

Have you watched this show?

(Source)

Sister Wives is currently airing their 5th season. I don’t know how I got hooked in the first place, but I purchased Seasons 1-4 on iTunes and watched them back-to-back as quickly as I could.

My favorite sister wife was Meri up until very recently. To her credit, I think she’s under a lot of pressure this season. But really, what is the deal with her insisting on having the wet bar? I don’t think they even drink alcohol, but she insists on having it. Weird.

 

Plural marriage is so fascinating to me. So much so, I drew a plural cat family. Imagine all the kittens.

As it is presented by the Brown family, it seems pretty normal and their kids seem normal, too. But I mainly watch for the wholesome reality TV drama. It’s on the same level as Jon and Kate plus 8 (the early years, when it was just about cute babies and shopping with coupons.)

In other TV happenings: Homeland started to bum us out by the end of season 3, and I can’t wait for Mad Men to come back!

 

California King

A lot has changed since I last updated the blog. Our zip code, for example, moved approximately 3,300 miles west to the Bay Area!

This has been a long-term goal of ours, and it’s hard to believe we’re finally here! I start work this week with a new company (Justin is working from home). Jelly will start exploiting a whole new state for its resources. There is a lot to recount and I have approximately 0.001% of the required time and energy to do so.

But we’re here, and I’m thrilled. If you are a Bay Area blogger, I’d love to hear from you! Be back soon!

 

 

Internet Is Down Again

I could try to pin my lack of blog posts lately on shoddy internet service. But, I’d rather blame it on Jelly. If he could eat our wi-fi, he would.

Coming soon on the blog (but don’t hold your breath):

– Matzo Lasagna

– Tuna Birthday Cake for Cats

– Jelly Turns 8!

– This Blog Turns 2!

 

Jailbreak Cat

We took Jelly to get his rabies vaccine updated last weekend. That means we have owned and operated this feline for almost a whole year!

These past 10 months (since adopting him in May) have been filled with laughter and fear. Every day is spent wondering what trouble Jelly will dream up next.

On a day to day basis, we deal with scratching, biting, waking in the middle of the night, and excessive noise (cats are really the worst roommates ever.) My least favorite of all his pranks, and there are so many to choose from, is his escape act. Jelly must have lived a former life in jail, because all he ever seems to want is out.

In the picture above, you can see the general layout of my apartment building. We have two stairwells in parallel, I think it’s for fire protection. We live up on the top floor. Once you are about halfway up the stairs, you can hear the scratches and the bellowing howls coming from our apartment.

Jelly wants out. This is what I imagine is happening on the other side of the door:

Most days, I crack the door and see a little paw stick out towards freedom.

I usually shoo Jelly back into the apartment with my purse or my foot, and have to watch for him sneaking out behind me. Every once in awhile, he slips out. Fun for him – run for me.

That cat in the hat is fast! He runs as speedily as he can down the stairs, criss-crossing between the stairwells. Meanwhile, I chase him around like a lunatic. You’d never expect such speed from a formerly fat kitty with remnant belly rolls.

The first few times he got out were easy because he ran to the nearest apartment door and sniffed around, so I could grab him. But last time, he made it all the way down three flights of stairs to the front door before I caught up with him. Of course, as soon as he was within my reach, he bolted back up the stairs and ran right into our apartment like nothing ever happened.

To remedy the situation, we keep a small spray bottle of water outside the door. As we turn the key to open the door, we mist his little face and he stomps away. But after a couple weeks, he hasn’t shown any disinterest in waiting by the door, and he almost got out once.

Help.

 

Wardrobe Color Analysis

Today, I’m taking you into my bedroom closet. I even put my clothes back on the hangers just for the occasion.

On a good day, my clothes are not piled on top of my dresser. Instead, they are hanging in the closet, sometimes even sorted by type and color, like this:

This is a rare sight, indeed. Almost worthy of a photo opportunity on its own, but I had a better reason to take pictures of the clothes in my closet.

As I’ve accumulated tops and blouses over the years, I am drawn towards certain colors and patterns over others. I have a ton of black and white shirts, and just as many in blue, purple, and red. But, green and yellow nowhere to be found. I got the idea to analyze the color spectrum of my clothes.

Enter nerd capabilities.

I snapped a few photos of the clothes in my closet, then opened them in Photoshop. I clipped swatches of each shirt from the photos, and pasted them all onto a blank drawing. After resizing all the swatches, I arranged them in rainbow order, similar to how they hang in closet.

It is easy to see from the swatches that half of my clothes are black, gray, or white. Of the colorful tops, most are purple (because it’s my favorite color) or red. The gaps in the color spectrum naturally formed as I arranged the color swatches. So, I took it a step further by I envisioning what colors could fill the gaps.

Green, orange, and brown would bring balance to my wardrobe’s color spectrum. For the record, yellow tops are not allowed in my closet. They make me look like I’m dying.

Once I had an idea what colors were missing from my wardrobe, I hopped on to Forever21’s site and browsed through their blouses. I honed in on colors that would fill the gaps, and I found a few good matches:

Pastel orange sheer  button up- Forever 21


Floral flounce blouse – Forever 21

Navy dotted button up – Forever 21

Green bejeweled flower top – Forever 21

I didn’t buy those tops online, of course. I just took swatches from pictures and pasted them back into Photoshop. Now I have this handy color guide for when I go shopping. These are the colors and patterns that would fit best with my wardrobe.

What do you think of my color analysis? I could do the same thing for pants and skirts or shoes. Now, I just need the money for a big fashion shopping spree.

Does anyone want to take some pictures of their closet (if you can bear to organize it) so I can test this color swatch method again?

 

Game of Claws

This is what I did with my Friday night:

If you can get over the fact that I am a complete and total nerd, you might enjoy my kitty-fied version of characters from Game of Thrones.

I recently caught up with the first season and I am totally hooked. Never in my life have I been so fascinated by dragons, knights, and slicing heads off. Not that I like to actually see heads being sliced off on TV, I usually have to cover my eyes. My cat version is a lot less gruesome.

I quickly noticed I have a knack for drawing swords and somewhat convincing armor.

Clearly, this show captivates me and I couldn’t help but draw cat after cat. There are so many good characters to draw inspiration from, but my favorites are Daenerys and the dragons.

I even tried to draw a dragon cat, but this is what I had after 4 or 5 attempts:

I got that far, sighed loudly and said “Dragon cats are really hard to draw!” And they are, but I won’t give up just yet.

Someone, please tell me they are watching and loving Game of Thrones too!

 

A Cat and A Plea

I lied.

I said I would be back Friday, and I am, but I don’t have a food related post for you. I barely have a post. After logging 60 hours of AutoCAD this week, there wasn’t much time for eating or sleeping- certainly no time for blogging, baking, or taking pictures. I will try to catch up over the weekend so that next week won’t be as boring on this here blog.

This sad story will end with a drawing of a cat, and a plea.

If you are interested in being featured on Blunder Construction, now is the time to do it! Do you have an idea for a Friday Food Feature? Does your feline have any talents to boast about? Leave a comment or send me an email for more information about guest posting!

 

Infomericals of Yore

When I was a kid, I used to wake up early on weekends and watch infomercials until the cartoons came on television. I would rave to my parents about the absolutely magical products that I saw on TV, and eventually convinced them to buy me a Sobakawa pillow.

(Source)

I was thrilled when I finally got to sleep on it and feel the unprecedented support and comfort.

But, the only thing magic about the pillow is that the company ever made money off of it.

I laid my head on the pillow for no more than 10 minutes before tossing it aside never to be used again. Every time I turned my head, a thousand little hulls adjusted and rustled in my ears. It was uncomfortable, loud, and totally disappointing.

This is what the pillow is filled with:

(Source)

Buckwheat hulls! A pillow filled with grain is NOT an advancement in science, instead it is throwback to the invention of the straw mattress. Needless to say, I started questioning the merit of infomericals from that day forward. Eventually, my mom broke the pillow apart and made some doorway draft blockers for the house.

Other almost-had-me infomerical products from the 90’s:

(Source)

The Magic Bullet – I owned a generic brand of the Magic Bullet for awhile. It was good for smoothies but nothing else.

(Source)

Nad’s Hair Removal– Whenever I think of Nad’s, I think of the episode of Friends where Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are trapped in the bedroom and resort to eating all-natural wax.

(Source)

Food Dehydrator – I still sort of want a food dehydrator. But do they actually work?

(Source)

George Foreman Grill – This is one infomerical product that holds true to its promises. You really can cook food on it and it really does allow the fat to drip off!

What infomerical products have you bought or contemplated buying? Have you ever purchased a total dud, like the Sobakawa pillow?

 

Sleep, Interupted II

What’s a girl have to do to get a good night’s sleep?

I wrote about what has been interrupting our sleep a few weeks ago. Since then, we went out and bought a new bed. It’s luscious, but I’ve yet to sleep through the night on it.

The night is still punctuated with disturbances by our furball Jelly. As for the additional square footage from upgrading to a queen-size bed? I’ve barely noticed a difference.

Sigh. Maybe if we upgrade to the California King, I’ll be able to stretch my legs out on occasion.

Does your pet hog the bed? Or are you able to hold your ground?

P.S. Yes, Jelly sleeps on Justin’s side most nights. And yes, I cry myself to sleep because of it.

© 2015 A MarketPress.com Theme